Bittersweet Busy-ness


“The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for and deserted by everybody.” -Mother Teresa


My heart beats loudly as my head pounds trying to keep up with it.
My feet remain on the floor, my legs scream at them to just get on with getting on with it.
My eyes reflect back from the mirror and the sun slices through field greens and muddy water browns.
Such a scene to be seen, but I am all alone as I wander through my city streets and into uncharted towns.
Would anyone make the trip or if so would they stay?
Nestled in the blankets of my private get away?
Some have skipped breakfast, but stayed up to count the stars,
Others carved their way out of dodge, leaving little sign they’d come besides the scars.
My fingers trace the grooves the tires of trickery have left on my heart.
God has re paved the lot so many times that without these tracks I’d have forgotten this part.
When the healing began I assumed the dying was done.
Strangely it was the opposite, the dying of self had barely just begun.
My heart beats loudly as my head
pounds trying to keep up with it.
My feet remain on the floor, my legs scream at them to just get on with getting on with it.
God breathes His way into the room and my hair blows gently with the breeze.
My skin warms in His light and my eyes move from the mirror to the ceiling.
My towns are now bustling with bittersweet busy-ness, thoughts chasing after feeling.
I am not alone in this no matter how quiet it gets,
God reminds my heart of it’s worth no matter how many times it forgets.
When it is just you, your heart beat, and your eyes.
God is sitting next to you whispering that here is where the magic lies.
To be still while in waiting is to be led where He takes you,
To be happy in hours of heaviness is to understand how He shapes you.
An afternoon with these four walls. God with me in my mess,
Is better than a whole lifetime of bittersweet busy-ness.
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Posted using Tinydesk Writer iPhone app

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